Ask the Readers: Clean Comedy

I'm putting together a post about clean comedy, and I want to know where you turn for clean comedy. Do you have certain movies or TV shows you watch that are clean? Maybe there are certain stand-up comedians you like that are clean. Let me know via email (timpenick@gmail.com) or by commenting on this post. I'll take what I have and what I get from the readership and put up a big post about it in the next week or so.

TST: Just Say No

The Bible tells us to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:15-17), so I'm going to be posting tips every Tuesday on things you can do to save time. Unlike most resources, we all get the same amount of time, but we have to decide how we're going to spend it. If you have anything that you do to save time that you'd like to share, just let me know and I'll add them to the list.


Today's tip is pretty simple: learn to say "No".

How many times have you felt overwhelmed? So much to do, so little time. We all have a finite amount of time. There are exactly 24 hours in a day, no matter who we are or what day it is. We, as Christians, tend to MAKE ourselves too busy. We miss out on blessings because we have no time for them.


I am speaking from experience. At one time in our lives, Clarinda and I were WAY too busy, even though the things we were too busy doing were good things to do. We taught the High School Sunday School class, Varsity Awana on Wednesdays, and we both worked in Awana on Thursdays as well (Clarinda was the Cubbies director at the time, and I was the club-wide Game Director). I was attending ASU full time, and Clarinda was working part-time for the Arizona Republic. We were on the Awana Ministry Board for the state of Arizona, and we attending almost every single state-wide event, from Bible Quizzing to Olympics (now AwanaGames) to Basic Training to Conference, and everything in between. We also ran the youth at church, so we had at least one youth activity a month that we had to plan and advertise. We had a family function at least one Saturday a month (lots of birthdays on Clarinda's side of the family). I was a trustee at church, as well as the Church Secretary and Contributions Secretary (I kept track of the giving for tax purposes). On top of all that, we had two kids. We were doing lots of good things, but we were too busy.


What happened? I drifted away from God. I was so busy teaching that I didn't spend any time learning. I was too busy working to have a prayer life. I didn't have time to read the Bible because I had too much reading to do for school. And because of that, I let sin into my life, and it didn't really bother me (at the time). My busy-ness had given Satan a foothold in my life. At first I didn't even notice, but my ignorance eventually led to indiscretions. I just plain didn't care that I wasn't living for God. People all around me thought I was living a great life, but I had fallen away.


We have to learn to say "No". Just because a need exists doesn't mean you have to be the one to fill it. The caveat however is that you have to take an honest look at your life and decide. People tend to use this principle as an excuse to do nothing for God. That's not what I'm saying you should do. God wants us all to serve Him. What we need to avoid is doing too much, which cuts down on the effectiveness of it all. It's better to do a couple things really well than a lot of things poorly. So whenever a need arises, take an honest look at your life, and if you can fill that need, do it! However, if you can't, it's much better to say "no" and leave the opportunity for someone else than to overwhelm yourself and do the job poorly. Trust me, I know.

Praying in Vain

In modern Christianity, we have often misuse the term and concept of "prayer". I can personally think of several instances in which I've personally done this. The most common way that I do this is by saying "I pray that" instead of "I hope that". Instead of saying something like "I hope that it doesn't rain", I say "I pray that is doesn't rain". When I say that, I have lied, because I really haven't prayed that (that doesn't mean that every time I use the phrase "I pray that" I'm lying, this is just one example). I'm not praying about it, but I hope it doesn't happen, so I just Christianize my jargon to make myself seem more spiritual. What happens when I do this in the small things? It starts expanding. I eventually find myself just paying lip service to prayer when it comes to the big things. I get to the point (hypothetically) where I say things like "I pray that my sons become better men than I have been", but I don't really pray for that. It's a sincere hope, but it's not part of my prayer life. What I've done is taken the concept of prayer and turned it into nothing more than common wishing.

As Christians, we also pervert prayer with our "vain repetitions" (Matthew 6:7). "Vain repetition" is just saying the same thing over and over again to the point that it loses the point. You may remember a few years back the big thing to hit Christianity was "The Prayer of Jabez". Bruce Wilkinson released a book on this small prayer found in the Old Testament, then told people to just pray this prayer every day and God will work like a cosmic genie, granting you your every wish (my summary). People started just saying these words (the actual words varied based upon the translation of choice) and not MEANING any of it. And this fad swept through Christianity (if you don't remember how crazy it got, just check out this search of Amazon.com). God is not interested in us just reciting words at him.

But where do we see these "vain repetitions" in our day to day life? Nowhere is this more evident than at the dinner table. If you honestly think about it, when you pray for your food, are you HONESTLY thanking God for it, or just saying the words? Are you REALLY thankful for this day, or just saying what you always say? Are your prayers a heartfelt extension of your thoughts and emotions, or just words that sounds trendy and snazzy? Jesus Christ has torn the veil and provided us with direct access to the loving and omnipotent God. He wants to have a conversation with YOU, not just hear you recite empty words and lyrics. He doesn't want rehearsed lines. He doesn't want to hear you repeat what your pastor says. He wants to TALK to you, plain and simple. So next time you bow your head or bend your knee, remember that it's supposed to be a conversation, not a script-reading.

TST: Watch It Online

The Bible tells us to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:15-17), so I'm going to be posting tips every Tuesday on things you can do to save time. Unlike most resources, we all get the same amount of time, but we have to decide how we're going to spend it. If you have anything that you do to save time that you'd like to share, just let me know and I'll add them to the list.

Another great way to save time on your TV watching is watching shows online. There are several websites that allow you to watch TV (every network offers this service for most of their shows), but the biggest by far is Hulu (http://www.hulu.com/).

Hulu is a website owned and run by the networks NBC and Fox, and just recently added Disney (they own ESPN and ABC also), so they have 3 of the 4 major TV networks on Hulu (CBS is the lone hold-out at this point).

Hulu will list a program the day after it airs in most cases (the show House, for example, is posted 8 days after it airs). Hulu then only shows one commercial per commercial break instead of the regular slew. That saves you time, but watching online also can save you money. If you only have a show or two that you really want to watch from cable TV, check to see if Hulu offers it. We cancelled our cable subscription when we discovered we could watch our shows on Hulu for free (we purchased a program called PlayOn that lets you stream Hulu shows to an Xbox 360).

Hulu also offers a selection of movies and documentaries. Most of the movies are mainstream (and most of those are older movies), but they do have some indies and foreign films. A few weeks back I watched Ghostbusters again for free thanks to Hulu.

So, check out Hulu and see how it can save you both time AND money.

About Me: My Childhood

I was born on October 26th, 1979 in Georgetown, Ohio. My parents had been married for just over a year when I was born. We moved to Phoenix, Arizona when I was 6 months old, so I'm virtually a native, though not technically one.


My sister was born a few years later, on August 22nd, 1982. After having the two of us, my parents decided that was enough, so I'm the oldest of two kids.

My childhood was relatively uneventful. To this day I've never broken a bone, and I've only had stitches once, but that was from oral surgery. I've never been admitted to the hospital other than at birth. Let's just say I was a careful child.


My parents would spank us when we were disobedient. Only once do I remember being spanked with anything other than my parents' hands (I got the wooden spoon once when my mom caught me in the driveway out front walking around the Ford Bronco while urinating). As we got older, groundings came into play more. I remember once in 5th grade when I was grounded for an entire week. That was earth-shattering to me, especially since I felt it was unjust (I had gone with my friend to the video store without telling my parents I was going somewhere, but I HAD told my sister and SHE was supposed to tell them). You see, I was a "pleaser". I wanted to please my parents, my teachers, and anyone else who had authority over me.


I went to public school, and I was a smart kid. In the mandatory IOWA testing, I scored in the 99th percentile every time. I didn't get my first B in school until high school (it was an Advanced class, so for GPA purposes, the B was the same as an A). Once old enough, I was put in the Gifted program at school. I was a member of the National Junior Honor Society in Junior High, and then the National Honor Society in High School. In High School, if there was an Advanced or AP class, I took it, and did well in it. God gifted me with a good memory, so I could memorize facts and figures very easily. I didn't study for my first test until my Junior year of high school. When it comes to a trivia game, you want me on your team (converserly, when it comes to sports, I'm the LAST one you want on your team).

The year before I started Kindergarten, I was invited to something called Vacation Bible School. Hey, going to school was cool back then, so I was all for it. By the end of the week I had accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior. My parents then asked if I was interested in going to Sunday School. Like I said, school was cool back then, so I was all for more school. So, my family started going to church for pretty much the first time in my life. We attended Grace Community Church in Tempe, Arizona.


We then were told about this club for kids called Awana. I was all about doing more stuff, so I started in Sparks the fall of 1985. I was a shy child, so I always wanted my parents with me. My dad decided he would come and be a listener/helper my first night of Sparks. By the second week, they had made him a leader. By the third week, he was the Game Director for all of Sparks. And, just like that, my family became active in Awana.

A couple of years later, my parents decided it would be better to live closer to work for my dad, so we moved to the west side of Phoenix in April of 1988. This was the only time in my life that I had to make a major move (major of course being a relative term since we really only moved 45 minutes away). I had to make new friends and join a new school with only a month or so left in the school year (I was in second grade at the time). That made things difficult for me at first, to the point that I didn't really make any friends until I started third grade the following year. That's when I met my best friend growing up, Sterling.


Sterling and I did things together almost every day during the week. I'd go over to his house, or he'd come over to my house. We'd play basketball at his house, or Super TecmoBowl on the Nintendo, or football in the backyard with his older brother. At my house we'd play my Nintendo or play with my toys. During the summer, we'd go swimming at each other's houses. Almost every Friday night, we'd sleep over at one or the other's house. For some reason though, Sterling wasn't able to play on Sundays. I asked my mom about it, and she told me that Sterling was Mormon, so he wasn't allowed to play on Sundays. I had no idea what a "Mormon" was. It turned out my best friend was a completely different religion. Sterling and I never spoke about each other's religion. He came with me to a few church activities, and I went to one at his church, but that was it. We never tried to convert each other or even discuss our conflicting beliefs. Sterling was my first exposure to a different religion, and I never even tried to talk to him about it.


Sterling and I were best friends until around Junior High. At that time, we started to drift apart more and more. By the time we went to high school, we barely even spoke to each other. It was by far the most painful separation I ever went through. We just didn't have the same interests anymore. I drifted more into the "nerd" clique, and he started to drift into the "cool" clique. I developed a closer friendship with someone named Brian, the nerdiest person I've ever known (he'd admit it himself). Brian and I got through Junior High together. Then, right before promotion (we got in trouble if we called it "Eighth Grade Graduation", it was "Promotion"), he told me that his family was moving back to Nebraska. So, with High School looming, I had lost my best friends.


After moving to the west side of town, my family started attending First Baptist Church, Garden Lakes. They didn't have an Awana program, so that following year, my parents started one. They were the Awana Commanders during our entire time there. I was deeply involved in Awana, participating in Olympics and Bible Quizzing every year. We even went to Craft Camp a couple times. Then, at Craft Camp one year, we met the Awana Missionaries, Wes and Dianne Stewart (they ran the Craft Camps), who told us about Scholarship Camp. I started attending Golden West Scholarship Camp in the summer of 1991 as a camper going into 6th grade. Now, if you'll remember from earlier, I was a shy kid. Because of that, my dad went with my to Scholarship Camp, and he was my cabin counselor. He slept on the bunk below me. And I STILL got homesick 5 of the 7 nights that week. I cut it down to 4 out of the 7 nights the following year. And then, the summer before my 8th grade year, my dad was moved up to Varsity, and I was still in JV. Instead, I had a new counselor by the name of Bob Gordon. That year Bob helped me work through my homesickness. I had some problems still that year (always at night though, usually because I couldn't sleep), but Bob helped me through.


So, there you have it, my childhood in a nutshell. Why am I telling you all of this? So you'll know me better. In order to listen to and understand a person's position, you have to understand the person. I want you to see that I agree with the way I was raised in some ways, and that I disagree with it in other ways. I want you to see that when I take a stand, I have the loving support of my family behind me. I want you to know who I am before you listen to what I have to say.


Stay tuned next time for the High School and College years.

The PEG System

While teaching the High School class at church, we were introduced to a new way of "grading" music called the PEG System. The beauty of the PEG system is that it can be applied to more than just music. You can use it to grade TV shows, movies, and pretty much anything else you spend your time doing.

So, how does it work? Well, you have 10 points, and you get to split these 10 points among the three categories, which are P(rofitable), E(mpty), and G(arbage). So, a hymn like "Amazing Grace" would be something like 10-0-0. A song like "Row, Row, Row Your Boat" would be 2-6-2 (it's useful for teaching kids music, but really, the song doesn't MEAN anything). A song like "More Human Than Human" by Rob Zombie would be something along the lines of 0-4-6 (bad language, but the song really doesn't MEAN much at all if you listen to the actual words).


Now, here's where it gets tricky. The way you use the scale will depend on your values. For example, if you are a high schooler, you probably aren't going to say there's any profitable parts to "Row, Row, Row Your Boat", but as a father with two kids in Piano, I see some profitability there.


If you let your Christian values slip, then you'll miss the point of the PEG System. If you start to think things like drugs, alcohol, and bad language as somewhat profitable, then you'll slew the rankings and water them down.


It's not much, but it's a pretty simple way to grade Pop Culture elements as you encouter them. Are they Profitable, Empty, or Garbage?

TST: Use a Reader

The Bible tells us to redeem the time (Ephesians 5:15-17), so I'm going to be posting tips every Tuesday on things you can do to save time. Unlike most resources, we all get the same amount of time, but we have to decide how we're going to spend it. If you have anything that you do to save time that you'd like to share, just let me know and I'll add them to the list.


Today's tip is to use an RSS Reader to surf the Internet with more speed and precision. I personally use Google Reader (www.google.com/reader).



An RSS reader (a.k.a. Atom or Feed Reader) takes info from a website and plugs it into individual articles that are easy to read and quick to skim through.


For example, I have subscribed to several blogs (you can see part of my Blogroll on the right sidebar). Whenever a post is made to one of those blogs, Google Reader creates it into a new article to read. After it's been read, it no longer shows up on my list to read. Google Reader uses the same Read/Unread system that most email services do, except that Google Reader will hide the articles once they are "Read". This means that whenever I log in to Google Reader, I am guaranteed to only be reading and perusing articles I haven't read before.


An RSS Reader is NOT only for reading blogs. Any popular website will have an RSS feed as well, such as USAToday (broken into the different sections of the paper), Amazon (for Gold Box Deals), and ESPN (broken down by authors and/or sports). That means that whenever one of those websites posts are article I haven't read yet, I get a copy in Google Reader.


How does this save time? For one, I don't have to visit through every one of those websites every day looking for stuff I haven't read before. Instead of having to click on a bookmark for each individual blog, news site, or whatever, I can just go to Google Reader and get it all at one time.


It also saves me time because I now have more precision in my web browsing. If I want to read Sports, I click on my Sports label in Google Reader, and I only get websites that I have labeled as Sports. If I don't have time to read all the articles on Deals, I just click on Deals and then mark them all as Read.


As far as RSS Readers go, I highly recommend Google Reader because it's web based, so you can log into it from anywhere (and you aren't taking up more space on your hard drive). They also let you Share articles, which you can have linked to your Facebook account (or friends using Google Reader) and they all see the article too. If none of your friends use Google Reader, there's also an option to email the article to them, which links directly to your Google Contacts. Very handy.


If you'd like more information on RSS feeds, I recommend visiting the Google Reader website (www.google.com/reader), which obviously concentrates on Google Reader itself, but also has good information on RSS and Atom feeds in general.